When we are young, still in school, we keep on fighting with our parents often even if there isn't any valid reason for it. Unfortunately, only after plenty of time we see how unwise it was to not appreciate them in those moments of arguing. This article is aimed at waking your grown-up ability to love and estimate your family.
So, what should you and what should you not do if you want to stop those periodic but permanent quarreling and arguing?
Should not do:
- You should not save all of your negative energy within the day and then just burst it over your parents for no reason in the evening. It is very easy to get over this bad habit. Firstly, try to rethink your bad emotions and see that most of them have doubtful source. Seriously, if you could not do anything that would improve the situation, then you should not waste emotions and worry about it. It is like having a bad mood because of the rain, as you cannot make rain clouds disappear. Secondly, if you are still upset and angry, try to express it on paper or in the form of argumentative dialogue to a person who has pushed you into this state. It definitely will not be your parents because the truth is, everything they do they do for you.
- You shouldn't be concentrated on yourself and your image of life. Try to perceive life a sophisticated geometric figure with different shades and corners instead of imagining it being a straight line. If you and your parents are having a certain questionable problem, don't put your foot down just because you see situation in one way, examine and review it from various aspects.
- You should not ignore them. This rule of life makes sense not only with your parents, but with everyone. Ignoring is the worst thing you can do when the situation gets complicated. Turning blind and deaf is not an answer and not a solution, moreover, it hurts people when someone they care about starts disregarding them just because they have no idea how to solve a problem right away. Running from problems will only make them bigger and more stressful at the end.
Should do:
- Remember that they are your parents, almost only ones that love you no matter what you do and will love you for the rest of their lives. If you take time to think a bit about what they have already done you will understand how big and priceless their gift of care and love is. Finally, you won't want them to be upset because of you as they do everything to make you happy.
- Listen and hear. If everyone had a habit to do so while talking to others, this point would not even be in this list. Anyway, have some time during your conversation with parents to pay attention to whether you are listening to them or just trying to make them listen to you. You will see that this helps at discovering new life shades and corners. Everyone has their own worldview and the point is that while talking and listening you sort of put another person's glasses on to see the world from their perspective.
- Talk. It sounds easy but not everyone does it. For example, arguing with shouting involved is not talking. When you talk right, you have more information to share and to get. That is the point which can bring you sources for reflection on your and your parents’ behavior.
So, if you sometimes have problems with their endless care, just tell them that it is enough for you to have them around to be the happiest person on Earth.