Somebody can build-up friendship easily, and others might have problems during this process. In the case of troubles, the principles of valuing close people & making a strong relationship might be helpful for you.
We all like being liked. Everyone feels pleasure while being surrounded by needed people who put some value into your relationships. Everybody could find a wonderful story about how their long & strong friendship with somebody started. For one person, a single meeting is enough, and others can see something special in a familiar person when some years pass.
Everyone defines the word “Friend” differently. Here, in this article, are some principles which illustrate how to value close people more and to have a “common language” with them.
1. Understand First, Then Be Understood
It’s easy to build-up a friendship with someone who has interests to share with you. But we all are being attracted with differences. We are more likely to interest in a person who thinks differently. It’s sad to say, but any communication with such people can lead to arguing, if you do one simple mistake: not trying to sincerely understand the other human.
To build-up a strong relationship, you need a wish to find out other human’s goals, expectations and whom he wants to be in future. No matter if you have any common interests or no, this is needed.
Try to be attentive to other people while communicating and to take any opinion into account without ignoring them. Once you learn yourself how to understand a person without imposing your point of view, it may become a strong friendship’s start.
The passive role people often take in relationships is a mistake. Answer yourself honestly: “Do you choose or are chosen?”
It’s not fine to just wait for a crowded queue of interesting people who could offer you their real friendship. Every weak connection is fine to be strengthened by meetings, calls, letters. Even the “flying” catch-ups are to be tested for possible touching points to appear.
It's OK to say that everyone can find people who seem to be interesting around. But we feel unsure when it comes to knowing them better. That’s not the best strategy of making friends. Choose those who you find interesting and don’t be afraid of making your first step. Your courage will bring you solid dividends in future.
3. Be Yourself
American singer Areta Franklin once shared her experience of making friends in her interview to the “Esquire” magazine. Her thought can become the really useful principle of making friends to many people. She said that persons who were thought to be crazy during the first meeting, always became her best friends.
People are all different with their own tastes, habits and strange thoughts. Obviously, there are people who seem to be attractive from every side, and there are humans who wonder us being strange as hell, but these strange features are what helps people to find and build-up the strongest and the most reliable relationships. It happens because of their individuality, their strange character features become something sacral. And the person who is ready to accept them as they are, actually values them.
Don’t be afraid to show your unusualness: being vegetarian, fond of comics or printing machines’ collection.
4. Be Useful
The principle is to attract and to hold people around you. There are three checked ways to do this:
- To inspire;
- To wonder;
- To share.
When meeting with friends, try to inspire them with any personal story, to wonder them with interesting news or to share any interesting view onto something common.
Try thinking out topics to interest your companion before meeting. There is no difference, if they are your old friends or new people you’ve just met. Every time you let someone know something new, you find out new things for yourself and make your relationships stronger.
5. Friendship Basis
This principle can become the point to argue, because everyone chooses how to build long-term relationships with the others for themselves. Many people make friends with job colleagues, some are united with a common hobby, and others can be enough of a single accidental meeting.
Strong fundament for a long-term friendship is the possibility to grow up, to be developed as a person, and the will to get new knowledge and discoveries. Why?
First of all, everyone wants to develop themselves, and it doesn’t matter which ways we all choose to continue growing. That is something natural for every person, and that is a level of understanding each other where everyone wants to be useful for the others.
Second, the will to become better, to achieve something more, to learn something new, is a process and not a result. Since the moment you choose your way of development, it will stay with you throughout your life.
The artist won’t stop even after he creates a hundred pictures. Same with the businessman: they always continue seeking possibilities to use their talents and skills. That is why a friendship built on this fundament will always find its source of inspiration.
We want to believe that everyone chooses people to walk together on their own. Sooner or later, everyone will be surrounded by people they really deserve.
Whoever your friend is, the memories of a time spent together are the most valuable for anyone. Let your life be full of these moments.
Good luck and have success!