Comparing yourself with others you won't lead you to anything good. If you win in this comparison - you get feeling of the superiority. Otherwise, you censure people if they are winning. Then your self-esteem just descends. How to teach yourself not to do that? How to begin living without this 'headache'? Here are a few examples of how people spoil their mood by comparing themselves with others, even with strangers, consciously or not.
Profiles on Social Networks
People upload photos to a social network which present the most successful and the happiest moments of their lives. You won't notice those pictures with the comments "We had a huge quarrel", "I am depressed" or "I did not pass the interview and decided to get drunk at the nearest bar". In general, there are only good moments: lying on the beach, a tasty dinner, yoga, jogging, party, etc.
It seems that person has very rich and colorful life. If you often visit social networks, looking at all funny moments in lives of your friends and acquaintances, you may get uncontrolled self-esteem falling down.
"Why do I not go to such restaurants that serve these nice meals?" "Why do I not travel and do not have such a perfect body?" You compare the moments of your life with someone else's, but why? Do they have to be better? Does one's happiness depend on better or worse these moments of your life?
No, happiness is dependent on the adoption of the present moment rather than the desire to do what the other person did. In fact, to be happy we do not need to be better than anyone else or in someone's eyes. To be happy, you need to accept where you are, what you do and who you are. Comparison does not add happy moments to our lives; on the contrary, it makes us envious, angry. It forces us to dream about what we do not need at all.
Condemnation or Understanding
People love to condemn others, in one way or another. People doing sport and who do not have excess weight, look at fat people who eat in the "McDonald's" with condemnation. People with stable earnings condemn those who have to borrow money from time to time. Particularly, among people who are accustomed to condemn, are those who suffered from bad habits before, but have overcame them.
Former smokers, those who got rid of alcohol dependence or constant consumption of unhealthy food. They denigrate those who still did not do what they have done already and often say: "Why are they so weak-willed!", "They have no self-control", "They let their bad habits to control them!"
And together with that righteous indignation, the feeling of superiority over others comes. However, as it was mentioned earlier, it does not lead to happiness. The animadversion results in the fact that you start treating this person as an unpleasant one. Your attitude towards them begins to be negative; you feel disappointment and even disgust.
We would like to see other people doing something in order to improve their lives, as we do. People generally tend to put themselves in the place of other people, so we always think that we know what will be better for another person. But we all are wrong here.
Even if you do this with a close relative, in fact, you can't always guess what they want without directly talking about their wishes. Why just not to try to understand the other person? I am sure that if you desire it you can understand absolutely all. When you understand the other person, this dislike will disappear and you will see another better part of this life.
You are a good person, just like the other people are. Accept yourself for who you are. Try to understand and not to condemn. When you notice that you are disappointed by someone - stop judging. Once you start taking all these things into consideration, your life will get better with no doubts.