Appleseed has everything to grow a tree and apples on it. Same is for every human: everyone has all that is necessary to be happy, loved and successful inside. Plus, the overwhelming majority of people know and logically understands it to be true. Why then our way to happiness is often so complicated?
Maybe, the reason is the fact this way demands lots of hard work and emotional strain. All of us are humans, and we try to avoid getting ourselves into uncomfortable situations.
We don’t look inside ourselves to find answers. There are two reasons for it: a human doesn’t know how to do that, or he’s afraid of what he might find there. This means, we all choose the easiest way to go. We prefer getting external reasons and things which can give us an immediate satisfaction.
It is nothing scary if a human’s behavior is somewhat like that. It is natural for us now. It makes us happy for some period of time, too. But a long happiness, which is built on the fundamental knowledge about everything in the world is made fine, has many levels. And being satisfied and pleased with your life is only one of its parts.
In Grant’s research, one of the fullest researches in history, scientists from Harvard University looked after 268 men for 72 years. Then, in 2009 “The Atlantic” magazine published the article based on the results. The writing, called “What makes us happy?”, was based on the results of the research, and it displayed some wonderful and surprising ideas about happiness. If to analyze the massive of gathered data, the article says, it can be seen that the key for being happy is love. The research says, love is really all we need.
People often try to find out how to be recognized by the others. Even when they think they love and are being loved, they make this whole feeling an instrument to achieve their goal, to get more than is available at the moment. They don’t cheat others and themselves. But, they are egoistic romantics.
They lack the key part for this puzzle. To love themselves.
Just like “The Beatles” sing:
“Nothing you can do, but you can learn
How to be you in time
All you need is love…”
What if this is that simple?
What if your happiness expects you near the threshold of your home?
Here is some advice that might help you become happy.
Rule № 1: Love Yourself
There is a common fact: human can’t love anyone else until they learn how to love themselves. Of course, someone might not to agree with it. People can like and love many persons and things before discovering how to really love themselves. They can give others their jacket, but won’t take one’s jacket instead.
This shows, that the feeling of love can be based on different motives. It often happens this motive to be something a person expects to get as an exchange. It is not obligatory a jacket or other thing, it can be the recognition we’ve mentioned already.
Learn how to love yourself, and you won’t need external forms of recognition for being happy that much.
Rule № 2: Expect Less
Expectations are to train yourself before being insulted. If you’re going to be happy, learn to expect less from yourself and the others.
This may sound not good, but your irritation often comes from the fact you expect too much from yourself. You put unnecessary demands to your own life and environment.
Putting the bar of your expectations a bit lower opens you lots of possibilities to achieve something bigger.
Rule № 3: Be Useful
Happy people often say, there is no better life-calling than helping others. Being useful for them. Imagine a world where everyone tries to help each other.
Nevertheless, be careful. Provide help without expecting to get something in return. This activity has just to bring you satisfaction as it is.
You can be useful wherever you are, at any moment of time in your life, not depending on your career or social position.
Rule № 4: Be Thankful
Anger, fear, disappointment, and any negative emotion just can’t hit a thankful heart. One way which you can try out right now is the list of thanks.
Write down any 10 things or happenings you thank the world for. They can be anything: product supplies, a place to live in, nice hair, sense of humor, etc. Simply write them down on the piece of paper. It really works.
Rule № 5: Be the Understood, then Understand
The ability to find others as “good guys” is one of the serious advantages of emotional connection and love. It’s easier to understand what the other person feels when you use your own emotions.
When someone cuts you off on the road, think about the fact you have no idea what the feelings of that person are right now. Maybe, it is a father who is in a hurry to his child, or a business lady being late to the important meeting.
Love is not outside. It is in your heart.
Rule № 6: Dive Out of Your Comfort Zone
Feeling the need to change and knowing your life requires changes is the turning point on one’s way. It often touches not only a place where you live, and what you live for. It also changes the way you look at the world and your place in it. People often reach this point being completely destroyed and despaired, so they’re ready to try anything.
Doing something that is out of your comfort zone makes you to contact the Universe directly. These actions help you move faster and influence the world around. They give us the ability to receive the needed feedback from your environment and develop a personality through the experience of communicating with the others.
Rule № 7: You’ll Get More Bees if You Own Some Honey
Think about something that changed your mind or the way you could express yourself verbally during the last few months. This means, something that really is somewhere deep inside you, any serious idea about your life.
A hundred to one there was nothing. At least, you won’t change the way you think just because of somebody told you it is cool.
Think about it once you’ll try to prove your viewpoint to be right next time.
Rule № 8: Learn to Sit Alone
This is actually the most difficult skill to learn. Mostly, people have their heads full of fears, doubts, guilty emotions and regrets. In that case, it is extremely difficult, even impossible to stay in silence and calmness. Learning to accept the consequences and to stay yourself takes lots of your hard job with your personality. But it is worth every effort.
There is a direct correlation between the level of happiness human feels, and the level of peace and calmness inside their mind. The easier is for you to meditate and relax while spending time alone, the fuller is your life in every of its states.